Hannah Stocking is a model, and also a biology-chemistry graduate and a successful volleyball player. If you were creating a video game character, and accidentally clicked a button that said “Apply All Characteristics,” you’d wind up with Hannah Stocking. So, when her boyfriend, Golden State Warriors guard Klay Thompson, purportedly cheated on her with a groupie, you have to look at it as some sort of science experiment that only Klay Thompson understands.
Is he testing some kind of biological fallacy? Is he trying to prove genetics and common sense wrong? We don’t know why you’d want to prove the hypothesis of “It IS possible to cheat on Hannah Stocking,” but once again, we’re not Klay Thompson.
Hannah, rightfully feeling that the laws of reality had been broken, took her frustrations to Twitter and told the whole world about it. Thanks to her, we can all attempt to understand Thompson’s grand investigation into the chaotic nature of genitalia.
Usually, you should keep personal matters to yourself, but maybe Stocking is just trying to bring more widespread notice to Thompson’s valuable research. Maybe she’s just as impressed as we are that Thompson has managed to do the unthinkable and reverse the laws of human attraction. “How can we be less attracted to Hannah Stocking? I have the answer right here…” Thompson will say at the Nobel Prize Awards, before bursting into tears. “This whole experiment was a huge mistake.”
Daniel Dockery is a columnist for Cracked.com, and a writer for Silicon Exit. You can read all of his stuff at his blog. He really loves you.
The Warriors wouldn’t dream of cheating on the court, and who can blame them when they’re cheered on by a dance team like Amira & Patricia?
And that’s the state of things.
